Sometimes sitting alone in the room helps. The eerie calm around. The locks in all the rooms where your eyes can survey. The mental picture of all smiles and the lines of code in college. Feels like a man lost.
Perhaps, in moments of solitude such as these is when a lot of floss is seperated and better conclusions emerge. But when you are lost and your hands are stamped by hundreds of others as they stamp it and make their forward, you probably think wrong. True, there are friends to whom you can always pour your heart out. But words are far too rare now.
The logic that I once mastered and could convince others cannot convince me today. Probably, now I understand I never had convince that somebody. They just gave that smile to convince me about my effort.
Words are shunted deep inside the throat and goes deeper with every time the saliva is swallowed. And when it comes, it comes out in a burst. I am in neither of these stages. The incomprehensive lines probably tell my state. I am trying to vomit out grief before it assumes epedemic propositions.
However, you have friends, these are those days you want to be left alone, confined to the four walls. And for a change, Murphy's law does not strike me today. As always, loneliness is calling me for a walk.
Probably, I should allow emotions to capture me. Probably, I should sleep. Probably, I should talk to someone. Probably, I should my work.
But for now, I am going for dinner.
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