All I see around myself now is water. And the water slowly seems getting taller than me. As I see myself drowning in the ocean of self-pity, all I want to know Is “Am I useless?”.
While I can hear the steady beat of drums surrounding the fest getting momentum, It just dawned to me that for the first time I would not have any role to play in the fest, however trivial it may be. For the first time I wouldn’t play hosts to guests coming from other places. Instead, I feel a guest in my own college fest. I realize that over the years I have earned more enemies than friends, I have probably developed an attitude which nobody likes. Today is when I realize it.
Today is the first night before a college fest that I will sleep without the nervous excitement that surrounds the fest. The first time, I don’t know who is the Chief Guest of my very own college fest for which I was so passionate about. My only dream as a bespectacled first year kid was to contribute something more meaningful when I would leave the college.
As it seems to be, I have lost my way in the sea. And the worst part of the ordeal is to see myself sinking with nothing to do. I don’t know if am correct. But I do believe I still have something to offer in spite of the countless allegations swirling against me. As I gauge, even this piece will be conveniently tagged by people as a publicity stunt.
I still want to see the fest. But the very thought of being a guest in your home advises me to stay away.
