140. 140
characters only to impress a girl, to get a thousand followers, to
incite an opposition party leader, to beg for votes, to outrage! But
140 characters have helped shape a language, not just the language of
outrage. Not long ago, SMSs introduced another lingo bcoz it wz 2 tuf
2 typ using a T9 keypad! But, this lingo assumed a universal
character. A message from a boy asking his girl out for coffee would
have been the same in the States or in a remote lane in Gurgaon. Add
to this a local flavour and there emerges a new language –
Lingua-e-Twitter!
While Kaveri
remains firmly in Karnataka's grasp, Twitter has been invaded by our
Yellow jersey supporting neighbours from down south-Tamil Nadu. With
numbers firmly in their side and many an intelligent Tweep speaking
the language, It is inevitable for any regular Indian Twitter user to
follow them and allow them into our TimeLines.
A geographic
analysis of these Tamil tweeps is sure to surprise many. Contrary to
what common sense would dicate, a large mass of the Tamil tweeps stay
in Bangalore. Yes, most of them hate RCB! Jury, please note the
point! The rest are spread across Mumbai, Delhi, the far lands of
Uncle Sam. A few, of course currently mark their address as
Sennai-Metras or Chennai, as it is less commonly known.
But Chennai or
New York, I bet 80% of the handles have a reference to one of TN's
famous exports. Idli, Dosa, Chutney, Getti Chutney, Sambar, Vada. Why
even Vadu mangu! Infact, the handle names of TamilTweeps will help
depict the colourful heritage of TamilNadu in the shortest of
possible words. Movie names, that handle-bar moustache adorned
villian, some pun-tastic remake of a uniquely Tamil artifact. As they
call it, #ThatThatBoyThatThat. And if my description deluded you
into thinking that these were but a bunch of college kids smelling
the first whiff of internet and asking for their coffee with a girl,
it is a mistake of the Himalayan magnitude. There is @Vajrabhrt, a
professor at CMI doing research on knowledge and mathematics, which
are best kept out of a troll post of this nature. A @krishashok, Head
of TCS Web 2.0 labs! @mohank, Director of IITB-Monash programme.
@nandini A celebrity cook and blogger!
And a host of
other youngsters in their mid and late twenties working on some of
the jobs that most students of the country would not mind swapping
with. It is usually easier to find the entire circle of friends from
a single seed friend in this circle. And I am not selling you any
seeds!:P Please ping me for it.:)
However, what
every greenhorn tweet would have to be educated about is the
language. I doubt even if Victorian English would stand any good in
the hinterland of Tamil Twitterati. And with the noble intention of
helping out the newer Tamil tweeps who have just got their moustaches
sneaking out, I will outline the most important rules.
Rule 1: Address
every gentleman as Saar/Boss. Gentle-ladies maybe addressed as
madam/Boss! Only when you get close to them (no.ofmentions > 4),
use dei!
Rule 2: Do not
try fancy language like “Arrange a treat!”. Please make it “giu
treat.”
Rule 3: Do not
vazhunjifiy with any girl on TL. For every girl, there are 4 boys
#noting you!
Rule 4: Do not
usually have one-to-one TL talks. Tag some 3-4 people in every
Twitter. Tams on Twitter hunt in pairs. Sorry quadrapules?
Rule 5: There
are many things where you have to add “esh”. Link = Linkesh. Meet
= Meetesh. My knowledge at the moment does not allow me to help you
with exact semantics of when to use “esh”. When in doubt and have
nothing better to say, use it!
Rule 6:
Always, and I stress always when a girl changes her DP , use “whatte
wow!” It is the de-facto standard to express exclaimation.
Rule 7: When
extremly bored, start tweeting about random things and point them out
in your random tweets. E.x. Hi rain. Hi Iphone. You understand?
Last, when you
are going to eat something very famous in a hotel, please tweet about
it before eating and please make sure a few people have their mouths
watering. Oh sorry, I forgot. It should be “Thayir saadham will be
had!”. Will be had adds the feeling of burning sensation among the
already not so hungry fellow tweeps.
Before, I see
the guns loaded,
#kthnxbye.
